Inedible Rice Pudding

Here's how not to make rice pudding....

When you don't have any regular milk, use nearly-expired cream and a can of evaporated milk to equal about 3 cups.  Mix with 2 cups of leftover brown rice, then cook with 1/2 c. sugar. 

Continue to cook for many minutes (about 40), wonder why it's not thickening, panic, then add corn starch to make it instantly gloppy.  Add cinnamon from a crappy container with GIGANTIC holes, then add more sugar because you are worried that you added too much cinnamon and it will be bitter.  

Taste and cry because you just wasted some perfectly good ingredients on an excessively sweet pot of goo that has the texture of masticated frog guts mixed with wallpaper paste that has enough calories to fatten all of the world's starving children.

This is why we don't buy cheap cinnamon containers, kids.

Sigh. 

Live and learn, I suppose.